Mixed signals.

Be straight up with me. Please. For once, be straight up about just how you feel about this whole situation. About the past fights. About our insecurities. About me. I want to know all of it yet it's so hard to open up to each other. Why?
I'm unsure of what you're thinking- but I know that I'm scared. I try my best to stay rational and grounded when relationships come my way. I usually never show just exactly how I am until I am comfortable.
With you, things are comfortable. But not in the way I'm used to. This feeling is more indifferent, the feeling where I like you there but then I feel as if I shouldn't sell myself too short. At least not right now.
Maybe later. Prove to me you're not playing games anymore. I stopped awhile back. So why haven't you?
You keep saying that it's because of my track record. How you think I seem disloyal to you. How it bothers you when I don't seem to be happy when you constantly want to check my text messages, call history, and myspace.
I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. Without trust, there is no relationship.
Yes, I admit we've hit ruts and I've had my own doubt in this whole chance we're taking- but not once did I say I didn't have trust in you. You need to give me the same respect if this is to work.
You also need to be patient with me. If anything, I enjoy patience in a relationship. I like to work for what I've earned, whether it be your love or even just a simple acceptance, I still want to be patient in working for it. To me, patience makes what I've earned that more meaningful to me when I've gotten it. Same goes for how I open up emotionally. I cannot just open up emotionally to any random person, even if that person may be my partner in a relationship. I will not open up until I feel its right. If you cannot be patient with me, this will never work out and that would mean that we are both obviously wasting our time.
I'm also very tired of being pushed aside and tested by every sneaky little challenge you put up against me. Playing games is manipulation. You do not manipulate your partner. If you think that this whole manipulation/playing games thing is some sort of twisted way of finding out if I'm faithful, you're strongly mistaken.
I will not stay around anymore for someone who tests my faithfulness to them. Who is insecure. Who puts me after someone that isn't family or a bestfriend. You already understand what I mean when I write that. I will not be your second choice nor will I wait around and beat myself in the process just to see if this will work.
To be in a relationship isn't a priority to me. I can leave just as easily as I fell for you. A relationship is something I take on when I feel that I am mentally ready to give myself to someone. But you obviously don't show the same stability.
I'm completely exhausted now. I want a straight answer. Enough of these mixed signals you keep tossing my way. I deserve better from you. &If I can't get anything better out of this relationship, I would rather have a healthy friendship. So make up your mind already. You've put me through enough without the rest of this added weight this past week. I've given you your decisions already, so choose. Choose wisely though because I am not going to be wasting anymore time on someone who's only halfheartedly in this relationship. I don't deserve to be treated like that anymore. Nobody should take the person that loves them for granted. Yes, I admit to not always speaking my mind. I've gotten annoyed of some things you do and resented others for their interest in you. It made me hate it even more how you provoked it. How you did this and that with them. I chose to never say anything because I wanted to trust in you. I wanted to be the polar opposite of how you treat me. I respect your privacy and those you hang out with. Even though in my gut, I'm telling myself I'm stupid for letting you always get your way. You seem to always get your way nowadays. Well now I'm not taking it anymore. I'm done being pushed around and letting you get away with everything.

Make your decision.
I'm not waiting anymore for this if you have doubts.